Yer goat harvest is out of control again and if you leave one more box of goat on your neighbor’s doorstep you’re gonna get your ass landed in jail. What to do with all that late-summer goat? Try cooking it with heat for an unusually sophisticated flavor guaranteed to confound your podunk kin.
Here’s what you need to get to make Pan-fried Goat Slices topped with Creamy Goat Cream and Fancy Goat Chunk Red Sauce:
- Goat
- Fire
- 32-oz jar of Cream Town™ GOATMANIA!!® White-Colored Kreem
- The color red. Maybe from an old lipstick in the back of the drawer?
Mix goat and fire together until pan-friend. Slice and arrange on a clean paper plate.
Combine goat drippings you find in the dirt with Cream Town™ GOATMANIA!!® White-Colored Kreem. Put half into a bowl and dribble the rest over goat slices.
Add red to the bowl of white goat sauce. Stir until it’s all red. If it’s pink, you fucked up. Add more red. Or maybe some other color. Whatevs. Spoon lovingly over slices.
Post photos of this bastardization of nature on facebook so that your coworkers at Wage Slave Emporium will know why you’re too sick to come in to work tomorrow.
