It’s the day after your cult’s annual Watermelon Festival, except nobody came to your tent and now you’ve got a hoard of leftover watermelon. What to do? Put your misguided misjudgements to good use with this delish Watermelon Festival-inspired watermelon dish.
Be a good cult follower — make our Greenish Turmeric and Head Cheese Gravy on a bed of Flame-broiled Watermelon and Kielbasa Souffle straightaway. This is an order. This is a recipe.
- As many leftover Watermelon Festival watermelons as you can carry, so, like, for you, probably one
- JazzTown® Kielbasa Maker Pro Kit, Souffle Flavor™, 12-oz Squee-Z bottle
- JazzTown® Kielbasa Maker Pro Kit, Souffle Flavor™ Activator Gel
- 3.3 litres Flame-Broiled-Flavored Flame Zauce™
- 8 cups Turmeric
- 1 block of Head Cheese, standard size
Squirt entire contents of JazzTown® Kielbasa Maker Pro Kit, Souffle Flavor™, 12-oz Squee-Z bottle into the community Crockpot®. Ignite using JazzTown® Kielbasa Maker Pro Kit, Souffle Flavor™ Activator Gel and a blow torch. Let set by window until it’s a kielbasa.
Mince watermelon. Toss with Flame-Broiled-Flavored Flame Zauce™. Sprinkle over kielbasa. Let sit overnight to let the juices seep.
Meanwhile, disassemble head cheese, separating textures. Recombine contents of your favorite texture with turmeric until a consistent color. Process through your Sock Gravy Maker you made in Sock Gravy Maker class last Tuesday afternoon. Pour over watermelon and kielbasa.
Eat it alone, in the dark, with all the other leftover watermelons you weren’t strong enough to carry.
